When we experience real self love there is no more fear and self-doubt to limit us or tie us in knots. As our capacity for self-love grows our inner power increases. Our confidence grows. When we have self love we become highly magnetic and attract those things that support and enrich us. Everything becomes much easier.

Soul Wounds

Beyond our historical conditioning, what factors prevent us from experiencing self love? Basically, what precludes us from developing more of a capacity for healthy self love is the same unconscious plague that prevents us from achieving other positive things in life. That plague is the hidden emotional toxicity in our bodies. This toxicity is the product of how life has wounded us, not only in this lifetime, but in prior lifetimes as well. Unconscious toxicity is the antagonist of self love. If we don’t clear our trauma during the lifetime in which it happened, the energy of that wound is warehoused in our soul for later resolution. When we incarnate again, that same wound, in the form of blocked energy in our soul, returns with us. These “soul wounds” activate past patterns from other lifetimes that we have no conscious recollection of and no conscious connection to. In other words, the trauma keeps happening all over again even though we’re in a new body and a new life. These wounds are hidden, extremely virulent, and dangerous to our well-being. This toxicity creates divisions in the psyche and  fragments us,  making self love impossible to achieve.

The Big Lie

Unconscious negative patterns throw us into a life of self-denial and unhappiness. They cast a shadow over our lives and conspire to convince us that we are less than who we really are. This is the big lie our wounds and karma have instilled in us. Its existence and continued persistence in our lives is clear evidence that we suffer from a lack of self love. 

Affirmations

A popular way to deal with unconscious negativity is through the repetition of affirmations. Unfortunately, affirmations have no real impact on the blocked emotional energy hidden in our bodies. They are like putting a band aid on a heart attack. They allow us to wallow in the comfortable delusion that we have taken care of the problem when we have not; that we have changed the schematics of our subconscious when we have changed nothing; that we have alleviated our suffering and created self love when we have done anything but.

The negative ego, which controls unconscious toxicity, is not at all affected by affirmations. In fact, the negative ego loves it when we use affirmations. It would rather have us employed in useless actions thinking we’re doing something to control it than in utilizing an effective strategy to defeat it. Creating more delusions will not help us experience self love and elevate our lives.

We only defeat the long reach of our shadow when we take fourfold action.

1. Find it
2. Face it
3.  Feel it
4.  Finish & Forgive it.

When we clear our unconscious toxicity the power of affirmations will work for us. When we  are whole – and not divided and deluded – we have access to all of our power. When our power is working for us it is easy to create life momentum. Affirmations can then direct that momentum into creating the life we want. Wholeness, self love, momentum and the use of affirmations create a powerful set of factors that will lead us to success and fulfillment.

 

Self Acceptance

The only lasting remedy to the pursuit of perfection is to find self-acceptance. While self-acceptance may sound like a simple solution it is not easily achieved. In fact, it may well be one of the hardest tasks we face in life. The journey to self-acceptance begins when we acknowledge the parts of ourselves we have been trying to avoid; the aspects of our nature that we cannot accept and fear to face. Many of these unresolved facets of our souls are submerged in our subconscious mind and are unknown to the conscious mind, the result of past life traumatic events that we never had a chance to address and heal in the lifetime(s) in which they occurred.

The importance of Clearing Toxic Trauma

To clear these traumas from our system we must find them, then feel and fully express the painful emotions hidden in our body that are associated with these traumatic events until the energy of those emotions have been cleared from our systems. When we successfully clear the negative emotion from our body we will be at peace. Self-acceptance will come automatically because there no longer will be a dichotomy inside of us opposing its emergence. The pursuit of perfection will then fall away because there is no hidden sense of shame and unworthiness to motivate it. When we no longer have to be perfect we can be who we really are. The truth is that life is a lot more fun when we don’t have to be perfect. That’s the magic of self acceptance.

How a Disaster Became a Triumph

I had a client some years ago named Frank whose life had been a disaster. His third wife had just walked out on him after emptying his bank accounts and taking all the furniture from their house.

His mother had been an alcoholic who became very cruel and abusive when drunk. She had continually told him as a young boy that he was so ugly no woman would ever want him. When his third wife walked out on him she left a note saying that he was too ugly to live with anymore.We did several sessions over the course of the next few months and most of the emotional trauma from his childhood system gradually cleared. When it had I invited Frank to come to the monthly healing workshop I was conducting for my advanced clients. There were many attractive women in this group.

Magic happened the first time Frank attended one of these workshops. The women took to Frank immediately. They all wanted to have him work on them. They couldn’t believe the heat coming out of his hands. When it was his turn to be worked on every woman in that workshop wanted to work on him and pour their love into him. It was an amazing confirmation of the fact that when we change our internal dynamics our external experience shifts to mirror those new dynamics. Frank had left the curse of his mother behind him and entered a world where he was ready to receive the love of emotionally healthy and attractive women. He took to his new reality like a duck takes to water. That’s the power of self acceptance.

When we clear toxic emotions we no longer have to be perfect. Instead, the perfect thing will happen without our having to do much of anything at all. Self-acceptance, not the need to control everything, is the real key to perfection.

In my book Just Who Do You Think You Are? I wrote a poem called Resistance and Acceptance that discusses these principles in a concise and clear way.

• What we cannot accept makes us unhappy.

• What makes us unhappy we resist.

• What we resist, we struggle against.

• What we struggle against binds us to it.

• Whatever binds us, enslaves us.

• Whatever enslaves us, shames us.

• Whatever shames us, diminishes us.

• Our failure to accept the way things are lies at the root of our problems.

• Our resistance makes us rigid with resentment.

• It steals our clarity and power, and deprives us of happiness.

• What we cannot accept we draw to us and are doomed to repeat, over and over again.

• What we accept will change, because we have changed.

• When there is no more resistance within us, our behavior will not be polarizing.

• Everything will flow toward balance and harmony.

• Peace will prevail over conflict.

Choose self acceptance and life will be far richer, easier, and more fulfilling. Choose not to work on yourself and clear your hidden toxicity and the principles of conditional immortality and denial of destiny will wreak havoc in your life.

It is impossible to know who we are when we operate in life under the authority of the negative ego. The foundation of the negative ego is the unconscious toxicity and hidden karma warehoused in the subconscious mind. This material forms our shadow and separates us from our soul and true identity. As long as this material remains highly charged we will not be emotionally stable or at peace but restless and unhappy.

Revolution in the Psyche

The formation of the healthy ego creates a critical revolution in the psyche. The impetus for this revolution is our choice “not to take it anymore” from the negative ego. In other words, we are fed up with living an unhappy, unsatisfying, and uninspired existence. Instead of going along with the negative ego’s control over our life we turn inward and confront the unconscious toxicity hidden in our system. By confronting and clearing this material we re-establish our connection to our soul. Rather than being divided against our self we are whole and united in our being. We can now focus on creating healthy boundaries, building positive and loving relationships, and moving toward our soul’s light.

The Soulmind

As our inner light grows brighter our mind and soul will no longer remain distinct and separate, but merge and become part of a continuum of consciousness. With the advent of the soulmind this merger begins to send an intermittent signal to the spirit above it. As that signal becomes strong and consistent through service and meditation it eventually will draw the brighter light of the spirit down to it. When the spark of the spirit ignites the soulmind we experience the moment of human fulfillment, Self-Realization. It is in that moment that the healthy ego is transformed into the Surrendered Ego.

The Surrendered Ego

The Surrendered Ego is highly intuitive and inner directed. It is creative, joyful, and a channel of unconditional love. The Surrendered Ego is at peace and highly stable. It is free of fear and no longer emotionally reactive. It does not create more negative karma. Rather than engaging in struggles for power someone who has a Surrendered Ego makes everyone around him, or her, better.

The Great Man

In my first book, Journey of Love, I wrote these words about the Great Man, the person who has achieved a Surrendered Ego.

“A great man is driven by neither anxiety nor ambition. He has no desire for recognition or fame. Instead the great man has discovered his true nature and is filled with love. From this discovery his greatness flows.

For the great man life is internally rich and peaceful. He is content. Neither struggle nor conflict stirs within him. Because of his contentment, his activities are filled with clarity and compassion. This is the essence of his greatness.

The great man does not want to be different from his friends and neighbors. Rather, he wants them to be as fulfilled as he is. This is the secret of his greatness.”

Sheila’s Story

Sheila came to a lecture I gave in Rochester NY. At the end of the talk I channeled healing energy to the entire group. The energy was quite strong that night. The next morning Sheila came running into the healing workshop just as we were about to begin. She was nearly hysterical. “ I didn’t sleep at all last night,” she cried. “ Every fifteen minutes I alternated between being freezing cold or burning up. I was sure someone was going to kill me. What did you do to me?”

I really didn’t answer her because I knew the energy had activated a heavy piece of her hidden karma and that the truth wouldn’t calm her down. The burning sensation she had experienced all night was the healing energy mobilizing her unconscious toxicity. The feeling of freezing was the melting of ancient dead energies that had clogged her system and bound her to the past.

What had actually happened to Sheila was amazing and miraculous but she was not ready to hear that. So instead I told her to get on a healing table and we’d get right to work on her. She gratefully complied and lay down on the table. I assigned three people to work with her and told them where to place their hands. Within a few minutes the high spiritual energy that was in that room to facilitate the healings poured through them. Sheila quickly grew very peaceful. However, a few minutes later she became agitated and started shaking and crying. At that point I came over and helped her clear the karmic experience coming up from her subconscious. For the next hour she cried, screamed, shook, burned up, and froze. Finally, the clearing ended and Sheila became deeply peaceful.

When her experience concluded she told me what she had gone through on the table. After the initial sense of peace ended Sheila found herself in another life as a young black woman and member of an African tribe who was being sacrificed as part of a religious ceremony. It was that terrible death that she re-experienced and cleared. She left the workshop that day tired but more at peace than she had ever been.

An African Queen

She called me a few weeks later to share two seminal events that had happened since the workshop. In the first case she had joined a small black Baptist church a few months before coming to the workshop. (Sheila was white.) Shortly after the workshop the female minister asked Sheila to takeover the congregation because she had a terminal condition. Before the workshop that request would have seemed strange, but with the revelation of that prior lifetime neither Sheila’s joining a black church nor the minister asking her to lead the congregation seemed to be an anomaly.

In the second case an iridologist she had been seeing asked what she had done differently since her last session. The only thing Sheila could think of was that she had attended the healing workshop. “Well honey,” the iridologist said. “ I’ve never seen so much change in anyone’s eyes from one session to the next. The tumors I’ve been treating you for on the right side of your body appear to be all gone.”

There is no work as important to our development as clearing our shadow. When we clear our toxicity we are no longer participating in postponing our future. Instead we become the active agent of our destiny.