Stretching the Ego

The Relative Nature of Identity

Without conscious access to our soul, all perceptions and conceptions of our identity are relative and changeable. Our perceptions of identity are related to the roles we play in life, rather than to the core self that stands behind those roles. The difference between one’s role, and one’s core self can best be understood by observing an accomplished actor working at his craft. A skilled actor is able to submerge his own identity in the roles he plays, but when the show is over and the shooting done, the actor reemerges as the person he really is. His real world and sense of self are very different from the world and role of the character he has left behind. The difference between the accomplished actor and the rest of us is that while the actor can step out of his character and leave the role he plays behind him, most of us cannot step out of ourselves and put our roles behind us. Our roles define us, and we have great difficulty separating what we do from who we are.

It isn’t easy to discover our true identity and establish a life based on a strong soul connection. If it was, everyone would do it. True identity belongs to the realm of those who are whole, strong and clear. True identity does not reside in the province where the fragmented, weak and confused reside. True identity takes work, effort and discipline.

It is not enough to declare, decide or affirm that you are something you are not. Too many who think they are spiritually superior, and have attained a higher level of consciousness, are simply deluded and looking for the easy way to self-realization. The truth about the easy way is that there is no easy way. Plato said the unexamined life is not worth living.  There is no self-realization without self-reflection. If you can’t face yourself, you will never succeed. So many  people do yoga to assuage their pain. The secret of self-realization and true identity is not to assuage your pain or do a series of postures to feel better. That is all temporary. The secret of self-realization is to face yourself and confront your shadow. When you expel the darkness from the core of your being where it hides, you make the necessary space for the divine to enter your life. Until that occurs you are treading water, not moving in the right direction. When you finally expel your darkness and allow the divine energy to enter your core, the change it brings is not temporary, but permanent. When that happens, you are on your right path.

Stretching the Ego

As we open to unconditional love and stretch our ego toward our soul, our sense of identity begins to shift slowly from what we do to who we are. While what we do is relative and can always change or be taken away from us, while who we are is permanent and can never be lost.

The Truth About Dying

Life Beyond the Physical Plane

Science tells us that nature abhors a vacuum. When we die, we do not turn to dust and bleached bones in the ground. Dust and bones are merely the remains of the body. Our body is the vehicle that houses and transports our soul while we are here on earth. While the remains of the body are ours, those remains are not who we are. This is a crucial distinction.

At death, the electromagnetic energy field that contains the spirit/soul/mind is no longer tethered to the physical plane by the physical body. When we die, the invisible silver cord linking the soul to the body is broken, and the soul returns to its home on the astral plane. Where we go in the astral worlds when we leave the body at death depends on how much or how little spiritual light we built into our system while we were here.

In this world, the soul is hidden and clothed in flesh. In the higher worlds, the soul stands revealed in its own light. That light is the real body of the soul. The brighter the light, the more powerful and evolved the soul has become.

The Story of Paula and Ted

My friend Paula once told me the story of her husband Ted’s death. Ted had been in declining health for a long time, and one day he had a heart attack. Paula called 911. The medics arrived quickly and were able to revive him. Paula, of course, was greatly relieved. Ted, however, was not. After he recovered, he scolded Paula.
“Listen,” he said in the no nonsense manner that was his trademark, “the next time that happens don’t try to bring me back.”
“Why Ted?” Paula asked him, a hint of panic in her voice.

“Paula, I was out of my body, experiencing more peace than I ever knew existed. I was in a very bright place. It was so light and so beautiful, better than anything I ever experienced here, I’ll tell you that. I’m not afraid to die now. I love you very much, Paula, and I don’t want to leave you behind, but my time is coming soon. I know it, and you know it. It won’t be much longer. That’s just the way it is. You promise to let me go next time, Paula? No more calls to 911?”

“Okay Ted,” Paula told him reluctantly. “I promise.”

A few months later Ted had another heart attack. This time Paula stilled her panic and remembered her promise. Instead of reaching for the phone, she reached for Ted’s hand and held him as he died.

“Alan,” she told me years later when she could talk about losing Ted without emotion, “when Ted died, I could see his spirit rise out of him and go up through the ceiling.”

“What did it look like?” I asked her.

“It was a long strand of silvery white light,” she replied without hesitation. “And that’s not all. When he left his body there was a feeling of deep peace in the room. Knowing that he was at peace made his death a lot easier for me to bear. It also helped me let go of my own fears about dying.”

Life is hard and unrelenting, and will always challenge us to grow. As Ted was fond of saying, “That’s just the way it is.”

Healing the Soul: The Real Art of Letting Go

Some years before the Los Angeles training, I gave a seminar in Virginia on Soul Healing. Among the people in attendance that afternoon was a woman sitting near the front of the room who seemed very uncomfortable in her own skin. As I looked more closely at her from a clairvoyant perspective, I saw that the traumatic events of her last lifetime were visible in her aura. She had died horribly in the Holocaust, burned to death in the furnaces of a concentration camp. This woman was in great need of soul healing.

I began the Soul Healing seminar and talked for a while, but my attention kept being drawn to her. I could see that her unconscious toxicity was ready to “pop” and that her inner being had led her to my soul healing seminar so that she could clear those buried events from her system. I could further see that the manner of her death in her last lifetime had cast a long shadow of fear and terror over her present life and that she knew none of this consciously. Finally, I couldn’t bear her pain anymore. I felt that part of my assignment that day was to free her from her unconscious toxicity through soul healing. So I did the only thing I could think to do. I asked her if she would come up front and lie down on the healing table next to me so I could demonstrate how the soul healing process worked.

She looked all around her, terrified of being singled out and separated from her friends. “Why me?” she asked.
“Because you’re ready for soul healing, and I think you’ll be a very good subject.”

“I don’t feel ready.”

“That’s to be expected. People who are ready are in touch with their fear. Your high level of anxiety just means you’re really ready for soul healing.”

“Well, I’m not so sure of that.”

“I understand. Nobody is ever very sure of anything when they are really ready to let go and undergo soul healing. It sort of feels like the rug is being pulled out from under you and everything in your life is suddenly being turned upside down. But all we’re going to do here is find what you’re ready to let go of and then discharge it. So if you can be a bit brave and take a risk, everything will be fine.”


“I’ll tell you what. If you feel very uncomfortable at any point in the soul healing process, we’ll stop.”



Having a way out convinced her to give soul healing a try. She came up and hesitantly got on the table. I put one hand under the base of her spine, and my other hand under the base of her skull. The energy immediately started flowing out of me into her central nervous system. As I watched the energy flow into her, it surrounded her body with bands of green, blue, gold, and white energy. I could see that the audience was feeling the energy as well. Their restlessness faded away. They became quiet, peaceful, and alert. Within two to three minutes I could tell that Karen was very relaxed. Her eyes closed; her breathing became slow and even. I now moved my hands to her abdomen and her left side where the toxic energy of that terrible death was stored. As I shifted my hands, the soul healing energy flowing from my hands also shifted. It was now a bright, fiery red. Within seconds of the energy shifting, Karen opened her eyes and stared at me in shock.

“It’s Okay,” I said softly, so only she could hear. “Some old stuff from your last life is ready to pop. This is what happens in soul healing. Just make a little sound and it will come pouring out of you.”

“What stuff?” she asked, terrified. I had no chance to respond. With those two words her repressed material came flooding out. She started to cry. Her body shook. She waved her arms and legs frantically, wailed and screamed. After twenty minutes of intense release, her physical movements stopped. Her body became quiet as her system filled with peace. As she shifted from one state of consciousness to another, from a state of cathartic healing to a state of deep peace, the energy going into her changed once more from bright red to pink, lavender, and gold.

I looked out at the audience. The faces in front of me registered fear and terror. “I bet you’re all afraid of getting on the table now.”

They all nodded nervously.

“Soul healing looks pretty dangerous and painful, huh?”

They all nodded again. By this time Karen was back from her experience and had opened her eyes. “Karen, could you tell the people in the audience how you feel?”

“I feel really great. I have never felt as light and peaceful as I feel now.”

“Was it scary and painful to go through that soul healing release?”

“Not at all. I thought it would be, but it wasn’t. Instead, all I could feel was a great sense of relief. I know it probably didn’t look like that, but that is how it felt. It was funny too because once it started happening, I didn’t have any control over it. It just sort of gushed out of me.”

“Did you see any visions or have any insights during the soul healing experience?”

“I just felt like I was being burned alive.”

“Were you afraid?”

“I experienced a brief moment of absolute terror in the beginning, just before that feeling surfaced, but once the feeling of being burned alive surfaced, the sense of terror faded away.”

“Are you still afraid?”

“No. That’s what’s amazing. The fear is completely gone. I feel much lighter than I ever have. What did you see that made you call me up here?”

“I saw that you had been burned to death in your last lifetime, as you correctly felt you had. It was during the Holocaust, and you were incinerated in a concentration camp. That experience was very close to the surface of your being and was ready to be cleared. That’s why I wanted you up here for soul healing. Frankly, it was driving me a bit crazy, and I knew I had to clear it for you before we could go on with the soul healing seminar. I believe you were here today to clear it. How do you react when you see World War Two movies or read about the Holocaust?”

“I’ve never been able to watch anything to do with World War Two or even think about the Holocaust. The thought of it has always tied me up in fear and made me nauseous. Now I know why.”

“It’s always helpful to connect the dots and know why. It’s even better to be free of what has held you back.”

Every time we clear a toxic event from our psyche trough soul healing, we wrest more control and territory away from the negative ego. Each time we clear a toxic event, we expand our light, deepen our inner peace, bring our soul and conscious mind closer to each other, and lead our whole system closer to integration. Facing what we fear and going through some discomfort during the soul healing process is a small price to pay for the freedom to evolve without internal resistance and the joy of becoming the person we were always meant to be.

The Toxic Soul

Death and Continuity

Death is no obstacle to the continuation of unresolved toxic soul content. If we fail to clear a toxic condition during the lifetime in which it occurred, that toxic event is stored as a packet of blocked and polluted energy in our soul. When we incarnate again in another life, the toxic soul conditions will return with us. In our next lifetime we may have a different personality, a new look, and a new focus, but we will have the same heavy toxic soul burden to carry that we inherited from our last lifetime. While everything else may be different about us, our soul, and the toxic karma it carries, will be the same.

The unhealed toxic soul wounds from our past life will continue to live inside us, unknown and unheeded. The fact that they are now completely unknown makes them more difficult to overcome. When the unhealed toxic soul wounds of the past travel with us to a new lifetime, they attain a quality of invisibility that compounds the problems we face in finding them. Their invisibility gives them a deep cover. While we can access our past experiences in this lifetime fairly easily, we don’t normally have access to our soul history from past incarnations and the toxic soul wounds that are stored within it.

Revelation and Redemption

It takes a very bright and powerful light to penetrate deeply enough into our system to reveal these lost, long forgotten, and troubled toxic soul fragments of our experience. These pieces must be revealed before they can be redeemed. The revelation of our hidden toxic soul content requires the descent of a higher spiritual light into the depths of our subconscious. That light will reveal what has long been hidden.

The redemption of our hidden wounds and toxic soul content requires the ascent of these toxic soul emotions into the light of consciousness, where they can be faced, felt, and cleared. Only then is the past redeemed and our system cleared of its encumbrances. If we do not heal our wounds and clear our toxic soul content, they will continue bleeding, robbing us of our power to be whole. Our wounds block our evolution. They place shadows of fear across our minds. They are the unseen chains that bind us to old agonies and prevent us from moving forward into a better and more fulfilling life. The most powerful and direct way to access these wounds is to focus the higher light of the spirit on the subconscious with laser-like precision and drive these toxic soul experiences from the darkness in which they reside.

The Soul and Group Consciousness


The Soul, The Negative Ego, and Group Consciousness

Unlike the negative ego, the soul is not interested in exploiting other people for individual gain. Its agenda is not limited to the desires of the personality. It does not want to shine by shaming someone else. Its true interest lies in uplifting everyone so that we all might benefit. The soul’s strategy is strongly focused on establishing group consciousness. Its game plan is straightforward. If we play together, we win together. If we heal together, we can change the world.

The Soul’s Plan

We cooperate with our soul’s plan when we clear our karma and open the necessary space in our system for the soul to come forward and shine in our life. The soul is the door to unconditional love. Whenever unconditional love is present, everyone feels whole, uplifted, and em- powered, the equal of everyone else in the group. Love is inclusive. Love makes winners of us all. Love changes the world.

The Negative Ego’s Plan

The negative ego’s game plan is quite different. Its strategies are divisive and center on this timeworn theme: If I win, you lose, and if you lose, then I get to feel better, bigger, and more important than you. The negative ego’s game is devoid of unconditional love. It is full of hostil- ity and exploitative maneuvers whose sole intention is to fulfill its desires, often shaming and humiliating other people for its own gains. The negative ego wants to dominate everyone and be at the top of the heap. It mistakenly thinks it can substitute “being on top” for being whole and fulfilled. What the negative ego fails to recognize is that being on top does not automatically make you whole, happy, or fulfilled. What you were before you got to the top of the heap, you will be after you get there. Power, wealth, and notoriety are not the antidote for having an empty core.

The Soul and the Long-term

The soul knows that it has had previous incarnations and may well have future ones. It knows that we come here, time and time again, until we learn the lessons that we must and transform the toxic energies we carry in our body into a clear and vibrant light. The soul’s concern is for the long-term: Will what we do in this lifetime advance our long- term growth or hinder it?

Helping other people helps our growth. Kindness, forgiveness, and a generous spirit count. These qualities accelerate our growth and help us transmute whatever rage, resentment, and hatred we may experience within ourselves or encounter from others. Being stuck in negative emotion separates us from our soul, encumbers our progress, and holds us back.

The Negative Ego and the Short-term

Unlike the soul, the negative ego’s concern is for the short-term, this lifetime. It has a short-term focus because that’s all it thinks it has, one lifetime to get what it craves and then the grave. It wants to get everything it can in almost any way it can. It is ruled by desire and greed. It functions in ignorance of the Law of Consequence and has little, if any, consideration for the long-term repercussions of its actions. If death is the end of everything, thinks the negative ego, then what possible further consequences could there be for what I have done?

Ignorance however, is not a shield and will not protect the negative ego from the long-term consequences of its actions. Sooner or later those consequences will come home to roost. We never outwit or outrun the Law of Consequences.

Unlike the spirit which lives in clarity and peace, the negative ego lives in constant worry. Because it feels separate and alone, fear is never far away. It is the first emotion the negative ego feels when it faces the unknown. The spirit, on the other hand, has a conscious realization of its own eternal continuity. It is centered in the Divine light. The real challenge of life is to find that center.

The Growth of the Soul

soul growth

Dalai Lama

Forms of Service

A spiritual path that aims for soul growth can be compared to a snowflake. Like snowflakes, all paths are similar, but none are the same. There are as many ways to achieve soul growth and serve, as there are people on the planet. The Divine is an equal opportunity employer who calls us all to His service. Achieving soul growth by serving the greater good requires a change of consciousness, an open heart, an attitude adjustment, and little more. It does not require a starched collar and a dark robe. We don’t have to be ministers, priests, rabbis, nuns, monks, or imams. We don’t have to leave our jobs. To achieve soul growth we just have to consider the well-being of others around us and be helpful to them when we have the opportunity to do so.

The Negative Ego

As long as the negative ego dominates our psyche, it will obscure our true identity, block us from our path, and negate all attempts at soul growth. For however long this condition prevails, the negative ego will keep us bound entirely in selfish pursuits without any gratitude whatsoever for the sacrifices others may have made to help us achieve our goals. It will completely stymie our soul growth.  Sri Aurobindo commented on this condition when he wrote:

The vital, (negative ego) is too selfish to have any gratitude. The more it gets, the more it demands, and it takes everything as its right and every denial of what it wants as an injustice and an offense. The unregenerate vital (negative ego) in the average human nature is not grateful for a benefit; it resents being under an obligation. So long as the benefit continues, it is effusive and says sweet things; as soon as it expects  nothing more it turns round and bites the hand that fed it. Sometimes it does that even before, when it thinks it can do it without the benefactor knowing the origin of the slander, fault finding, or abuse.”

Ignorance and apathy about who we really are discourage many people from seeking soul growth. Those among us whose world-view is largely shaped by material values and considerations often pay little attention to their non-physical needs and dismiss the all important work of soul growth. Frequently, what matters most is getting ahead in the world. Prestige, power, money, and status are what count. These are the things that are valued and prized. It’s how most of us keep score and why we compete to get ahead of each other. As long as we get what we want in the world, what does the state of our soul really matter and who really cares about soul growth?

After all, we can’t measure our internal light, compare it to others, compete for more of it, or place a monetary value on it. We can’t buy it or sell it. It isn’t a commodity. It won’t improve our bottom line. So if we can’t prove that we have more light than everybody else, then why should we bother with the whole exercise of soul growth? It’s a waste of time and energy and won’t make us richer or more famous.

Our Soul Asset

There is a profound reason why we should make that effort. Our conscious connection with our soul is the most important asset we will ever have. That connection must be developed here. Soul growth cannot be developed after we die. If we throw away our opportunities for soul growth in this lifetime, we will not make the inner growth we came here to make or find a lasting fulfillment in our life. A major part of us will remain missing. A great resource that could successfully guide us through life’s many challenges will remain untapped. Our true power and creativity will never be utilized. Our potential for happiness and inner peace will not be realized. If we fail to make our soul growth in this lifetime, it may make that task much harder in future lifetimes.

Since the purpose of life is to develop our soul connection and make our soul growth, we never escape the pressure of that purpose. When we deny the most essential need of our nature, we unwittingly increase the hidden pressure of that purpose on our lives. That pressure may heighten our suffering, highlight our unhappiness, or widen our sense of alienation.

To the Divine, the most important factor in evaluating our life is the soul growth we made in our time on earth. Did we turn on our light, find out who we really are, and make our unique contribution to the world? From the Divine perspective there is no more important task than soul growth.

Soul Power


Mother Teresa with Princess Diana

Building the Link to the Soul

Since life  is always a struggle of one sort or another it is imperative to build the link to our soul. We must fight against the stupidity, intolerance, prejudice, and hatred that are so entrenched in the world. We must also fight the negative qualities that are firmly entrenched within our own nature and constantly seeking to undermine us. Our greatest ally in the battles of life is the hidden power of our soul. When we overcome our negative ego and its urge to exert control over all that it can, we are unstoppable. When we have built the link to our soul, we stand in the true light of our being.

Moses, Christ, Krishna, Buddha, Mohammed, Gandhi, and Mother Teresa all had the very real advantage of that soul link. They knew who they were; they knew what their true purpose was, and they had the support of a higher power in fulfilling that purpose. In their work and in their lives they demonstrated what can be accomplished when we find our real self,  discover our true purpose, and stand firmly in the light of the soul.

No one individual can lead the world out of its present morass. The world is too large, the problems we face too complex. But together we can stand up, and joined by a clear and loving purpose, we can heal ourselves and help the world move forward to a better future for all.

Gandhi and Self-discipline

The story of Mahatma Gandhi and his campaign to free India from the yoke of British colonialism is a case in the development of soul power. When Gandhi returned to India from his sojourn in South Africa, he traveled by train around the Indian subcontinent and witnessed firsthand the great suffering caused by the widespread poverty of the Indian people. His initial plan was to help India overcome her impoverishment. As he moved forward to implement constructive economic change he soon realized that British rule was a main impediment to the economic aspirations of the Indian people. In time, his campaign for economic freedom became a movement for political freedom from British rule. Freeing India from the yoke of British rule became his life purpose. In order to reach that goal, Gandhi realized that he had to conquer his shadow and find his center so that the light of his soul might shine through. Self-discipline was among the important qualities that Gandhi cultivated in himself to reach his goal of soul linkage.

In the long years of the struggle for Indian independence, Gandhi never wavered in his determination to reach his goal and stand firmly in his soul. He maintained his poise, rarely lost his self-control, and disciplined himself not to react to challenging events in a negative manner. Instead he would respond as positively and forthrightly as he could. He never sacrificed his commitment to the truth, compromised his principles or went against the intuition that sprang from his soul. The final result of Gandhi’s quest was inspiring and miraculous. He defeated a great empire peacefully, without violence. His only weapons were the truth in his soul and the strength of his character.

Through the years of struggle Gandhi had deliberately forged a very deep soul connection. He possessed inner peace, strength, and great clarity, qualities that helped him to understand who he was and what he was about. He clearly had a mission that required great strength and courage on the one hand, and little ego on the other. These attributes were amplified by the unconditional love that flowed through him. His love for all people, combined with his deep soul connection, created an opening in his energy system that magnetically pulled Divine love down from above, and distributed that energy to everyone within his sphere of influence. Wherever Gandhi went, whether to a prison or a podium, Divine love went with him. He had direct access to a higher authority and Divine support for his mission. That is what happens when you live in alignment with your soul. With that support, Gandhi fulfilled his mission.

The Secret Laws of the Shadow: Part 4

The Purpose of Life

The real purpose of life is to heal ourselves so we may realize who we are at highest level of our being. While this may sound like a simple task the truth is that the fulfillment of this purpose is anything but simple and the time required to reach this goal is anything but short. The fulfillment of this purpose takes hundreds of lifetimes.

Soul Age

While we are all at different physical ages we are also all at different soul ages. See the work of Holly Coleman for a more complete discussion on this fascinating topic.  Soul ages range from infant, baby, young, mature, to old. Each age has seven levels. Seventh level Old Souls are those closest to Self-realization.

Old Souls

The entire Old Soul level makes up no more than 12 to 13% of the world’s population. Seventh level Old Souls are even rarer, making up no more than 1/7th of that 12 to 13%, or approximately 1.85% of the world’s population. Since the soul age of most people on the planet is heavily bunched in the young and early mature brackets our society embodies the values of young and early mature souls. Image and personal success are more important than healing, compassion and service. Old Souls often feel estranged from the conventional world around them because the prevailing societal values are not in alignment with their own.


Regardless of  soul age we can do much to heal our lives, move forward in our growth, and accelerate our evolutionary process. However, if we choose to live our life within the constraints of conventional values and not work to heal our inner landscape our progress will be virtually undetectable. Our shadow will act as a drag on our progress and both the level of success we hoped to experience and the degree of consciousness we wished to attain will remain beyond our reach. Denial of destiny is the fourth secret law of the shadow. As long as the shadow remains intact the negative ego continues to be the dominant player in the psyche and the soul is excluded from having an uplifting impact in our life. When the soul is excluded from participation in our life there can be no healing or movement toward Self- realization.

However, once we decide to transform ourselves we are in position to change our life. The first task of transformation is to tackle the shadow. We do this in a fourfold process:

• First, we must find the hidden traumas in our subconscious.

• Second, we must face them.

• Third, we must feel and express the toxic emotions hidden in our bodies.

• Fourth, we must forgive those who have hurt us as well as ourselves.

When we are able to take all four steps we heal that piece of karma and deactivate that part of our shadow. This process must be repeated for each layer of our karma.

flickr airbow
Medieval Europe

Sam came to a lecture I gave at Michigan State University. At the end of the lecture I channeled healing energy to everyone in the audience to facilitate their healing. Two weeks later I received a call from Sam. He said that he had definitely felt something the night of the lecture and wanted to see if I might be able to help him heal his life over the phone. For many years he had experienced an acute pain in his back that no form of medicine or therapy had been able to alleviate. He had tried conventional medicine, chiropractic, rolfing, physical therapy, and massage. Nothing had worked. We scheduled a session for the next week. When he called I began by sending the healing energy over the phone to relax him and within a few minutes he was deeply relaxed. As the healing light circulated in his body I was able to see the blocked energy in his back and the cause of it. In another life in medieval Europe he had been a soldier. During a battle he had been run through with a broadsword.

I knew that as soon as I told him what I had seen it would elicit a powerful reaction in him. It did. Just mentioning the word broadsword touched the hidden emotions that were stored in his back. He wailed uncontrollably for the rest of that session as his toxicity  poured out of him. At the end of the session he reported that he was burning up, his clothing was soaking wet, and for the first time in more than a decade he had no pain in his back. The healing had begun.

We did a follow up session a week later. The pain had never come back, he was experiencing more peace than he had ever thought possible, and he was even an inch taller!

When I told him about that medieval life we had found the source of his problem. The healing energy pouring through his system had brought the first three steps of the healing cycle together at the same moment. He found the source of his pain, faced it, and felt it simultaneously. By clearing it completely out of his system he had also achieved forgiveness and completion. Healing the shadow often produces miracles, freeing us to have a deeper, richer, happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life. Sam did.