The only lasting remedy to the pursuit of perfection is to find self-acceptance. While self-acceptance may sound like a simple solution it is not easily achieved. In fact, it may well be one of the hardest tasks we face in life. The journey to self-acceptance begins when we acknowledge the parts of ourselves we have been trying to avoid; the aspects of our nature that we cannot accept and fear to face. Many of these unresolved facets of our souls are submerged in our subconscious mind and are unknown to the conscious mind, the result of past life traumatic events that we never had a chance to address and heal in the lifetime(s) in which they occurred.
The importance of Clearing Toxic Trauma
To clear these traumas from our system we must find them, then feel and fully express the painful emotions hidden in our body that are associated with these traumatic events until the energy of those emotions have been cleared from our systems. When we successfully clear the negative emotion from our body we will be at peace. Self-acceptance will come automatically because there no longer will be a dichotomy inside of us opposing its emergence. The pursuit of perfection will then fall away because there is no hidden sense of shame and unworthiness to motivate it. When we no longer have to be perfect we can be who we really are. The truth is that life is a lot more fun when we don’t have to be perfect. That’s the magic of self acceptance.
How a Disaster Became a Triumph
I had a client some years ago named Frank whose life had been a disaster. His third wife had just walked out on him after emptying his bank accounts and taking all the furniture from their house.
His mother had been an alcoholic who became very cruel and abusive when drunk. She had continually told him as a young boy that he was so ugly no woman would ever want him. When his third wife walked out on him she left a note saying that he was too ugly to live with anymore.We did several sessions over the course of the next few months and most of the emotional trauma from his childhood system gradually cleared. When it had I invited Frank to come to the monthly healing workshop I was conducting for my advanced clients. There were many attractive women in this group.
Magic happened the first time Frank attended one of these workshops. The women took to Frank immediately. They all wanted to have him work on them. They couldn’t believe the heat coming out of his hands. When it was his turn to be worked on every woman in that workshop wanted to work on him and pour their love into him. It was an amazing confirmation of the fact that when we change our internal dynamics our external experience shifts to mirror those new dynamics. Frank had left the curse of his mother behind him and entered a world where he was ready to receive the love of emotionally healthy and attractive women. He took to his new reality like a duck takes to water. That’s the power of self acceptance.
When we clear toxic emotions we no longer have to be perfect. Instead, the perfect thing will happen without our having to do much of anything at all. Self-acceptance, not the need to control everything, is the real key to perfection.
In my book Just Who Do You Think You Are? I wrote a poem called Resistance and Acceptance that discusses these principles in a concise and clear way.
• What we cannot accept makes us unhappy.
• What makes us unhappy we resist.
• What we resist, we struggle against.
• What we struggle against binds us to it.
• Whatever binds us, enslaves us.
• Whatever enslaves us, shames us.
• Whatever shames us, diminishes us.
• Our failure to accept the way things are lies at the root of our problems.
• Our resistance makes us rigid with resentment.
• It steals our clarity and power, and deprives us of happiness.
• What we cannot accept we draw to us and are doomed to repeat, over and over again.
• What we accept will change, because we have changed.
• When there is no more resistance within us, our behavior will not be polarizing.
• Everything will flow toward balance and harmony.
• Peace will prevail over conflict.
Choose self acceptance and life will be far richer, easier, and more fulfilling. Choose not to work on yourself and clear your hidden toxicity and the principles of conditional immortality and denial of destiny will wreak havoc in your life.