Overcoming The Negative Ego

Soul vs Ego

What distinguishes a negative ego from a healthy ego is the relationship that each ego level has with the soul. The negative ego is a closed system, determined to have no further relationship with the soul whatsoever. The negative ego sees the soul as its major competitor for power within the psyche. It is threatened by the soul’s connection to the eternal light of the spirit. The negative ego  does not want that light to illuminate the psyche because the negative ego is afraid the light will reveal the hidden darkness and toxicity that are the source of its power. Since the negative ego is dominated by fear, it will go to great lengths to protect its franchise and maintain its control.

Mortality and The Ego

The negative ego’s primary interest does not lie in serving the person whose system it rules. The negative ego is only interested in protecting its host in order to sustain its own existence. This is not an act of generosity, but one of self-interest. The negative ego knows full well that it is as mortal as the body of its host. If its host were to die, the negative ego would no longer exist.

The negative ego with its fear, self-absorption, antagonism toward the soul, and concerns about its own survival, has no interest in the growth and evolution of the person within whom it exists. Neither is the negative ego interested in helping its host discover his true identity or find his true purpose. Conscious evolution requires the presence of the soul, and the negative ego is fully committed to denying that presence. Since the negative ego’s goals are antagonistic to the true goals of the person, it is neither friend nor ally to the person it is supposed to serve.

The Negative Ego and the Survival Instinct

With its primary orientation organized around its own survival concerns, the negative ego is not interested in growth or integration, but rather, in power and control. Power and control are the negative ego’s solution to the fear that lies hidden at its core. If the person it rules chose to bring down the eternal light and evolve, instead of chasing one desire after another in a futile race for fulfillment, the negative ego would eventually die. Turning toward the light terrifies the negative ego. It knows that it can only achieve its goals of survival and power by misdirecting the person it is supposed to be protecting from further trauma. The mission of the negative ego is to keep that person in the dark about his darkness, not to usher him into the light.

Resetting The Emotional Clock

C.O - © Carl Westergren

Resetting Barbara’s Emotional Clock

The rapid vibrating of Barbara’s body was her system’s method of resetting her emotional clock and accelerating the energies in her emotional body so that they might catch up to her chronological age. When her body stopped vibrating, one part of her would no longer be in its mid- sixties, while the other part of her stayed stuck in shame at age six. Now her chronological age and her emotional life would be synchronized at the same level of maturity.

Venturing Outside the Box

As a child, she always had to be vigilant and on guard, constantly looking over her shoulder for the criticism that was sure to come her way if she dared to step out of the box into which her circumstances had forced her. She had had no choice but to be what someone else had wanted her to be. Now the compulsion to please, and the fear, shame, need, and rage that had been stuck in her body since early childhood were cleared from her system. She had ventured outside the box of her childhood conditioning and would never be the same again.

The “endure to survive” theme that had dominated her childhood and sabotaged her adult years would no longer control her. She was no longer firmly entrenched on the path of most resistance. Barbara’s healing experience taught her that change could happen at any age and that it was indeed possible to teach an old dog new tricks.

Signs of Transformation

The first outward sign of Barbara’s growth occurred in an interaction with an old friend. For many years, she had considered this particular woman her best friend. Yet this woman consistently irritated and upset her. Until now, Barbara had never really examined the source of that irritation. She had just thought that her feelings were due to a hidden flaw within herself, rather than to a problem with her friend. Instead of being able to look objectively at her friendship, she had internalized her feelings and blamed herself. The shame that her mother had instilled in her as a child had created low self-esteem and led her to blame herself whenever anything went wrong. Now that she was clearer and more confident in herself, she realized that the irritation she experienced whenever she was with this woman occurred because her friend routinely used her and treated her dismissively.

The next time her friend called and said something that upset her, Barbara told her exactly how she felt about being treated in this manner. The woman then became very nasty, berating Barbara and treating her even more contemptuously. Barbara was not about to put up with that kind of treatment ever again. She told the woman that their friendship was over and hung up the phone. When she told me about it a few days later she was still feeling very proud of herself and couldn’t believe that she felt no remorse.

“Why should you?” I asked her. “All you did was tell her the truth.”

“I know,” she said, “but the old Barbara would have felt terrible and scared and done everything under the sun to put it back together. Now I couldn’t care less. I feel terrifically empowered. I never knew I could feel so good about myself.”

“Think about what happened with this woman,” I continued. “There’s more here than meets the eye. This was a very significant moment in your growth. Your friend was very much like your mother. They shared the same essential characteristic. By standing up to her you also symbolically stood up to your mother. Congratulations are in order. You just broke the unconscious governing belief that had ruled your life.”

The same need to stand up for herself began to occur in all of Barbara’s important relationships. A few weeks after telling her former friend the truth, her sons called. They wanted her to come over and watch the Super Bowl with them and their wives and bring some food with her. She told them that she hated sports and wasn’t about to be used for free food. If they wanted to see her, it would have to be something she liked to do, and they could supply the food. After all, they were now grown men.
Their reaction surprised her. She expected them to be very upset, but they were not upset at all. They fully agreed with her position and apologized for their behavior. Since that conversation, their relationship is on an entirely different plane. They now have a mother they respect and are proud of. They even cook her dinner.

When Loss is an Advantage

For Barbara, the lesson in standing up for herself was clear and simple. She lost those people who were not her real friends, made new ones to replace them who were much more positive than the old ones, and gained the respect of those that really mattered to her. In terms of her growth, her losses were really gains. She lost what didn’t matter and was no longer relevant to her growth. By rejecting negative people she affirmed her own self-worth, increased her personal power, and protected her core self.

Karma and Accountability Part 2

Karma and Accountability

We do not operate in a vacuum. What we do to others and what we do to the world, life one day will do to us. We are all accountable for our actions. Everything we do, the good as well as the bad, will eventually come home to us. Our actions are an investment in our future. We never escape our karma. Rumi, the great mystical poet of the fourteenth century, put the notion of karmic accountability in these terms: “If you cause injury to someone, you draw that same injury to yourself.”

Taking this fundamental truth under consideration, our strategy should be to proceed thoughtfully and deliberately in our lives. We should be compassionate, sensitive, and clear in what we do and why we do it. Being deliberate and in control of our emotions is far superior to being impulsive and controlled by momentary desires. The wise person lives by The Golden Rule and will “do unto others as he would have them do unto him.”

The Law of Consequences

If our actions have been destructive to other people’s well-being, all our attempts to deny our activities, discredit others, and distance ourselves from the repercussions of our actions will prove futile in the end. There is no escaping the long reach of universal law. The Law of Consequences, or Karma, makes no exceptions for anyone. We are all equal under that law. Karma has no favorites. God cannot be bribed or placated. What we do now determines what life will bring us later. We are responsible for our destiny.

Karma and the Long Term

Sometimes, however, it might seem that universal law does not work as advertised. Many ruthless killers throughout history became powerful and rich, and led privileged lives. Some ruled countries. A few created empires. Several were celebrated. Where, then, are the consequences to their actions? They seem to have been rewarded for their inhumanity rather than punished for their crimes.

What must not be forgotten is that universal law applies to the long term as well as the short term. The consequences for actions against humanity are not always immediate. The Law of Consequences determines the timing of karmic events. It manifests our karma when it deems that the conditions are right for us to be confronted with the experience we created for ourselves.

karma and Nixon

Richard Nixon

Richard Nixon, for example, won many elections by spreading lies and ruthlessly destroying the reputations of his opponents. In his early political career it seemed like a successful strategy, enabling him to swiftly climb the political ladder from congressman to Vice-President of the United States. His karma did not come back to haunt him until the zenith of his political career when he was re-elected President of the United States in a landslide victory in 1970, winning every state’s electoral votes but Massachusetts. Then came Watergate. Two years after his triumphant re-election, he was forced to resign his high office in dis- grace. The man who had destroyed the reputation and careers of others had now destroyed his own.

If Nixon’s karma had come back to him when he had first created it, his humiliation would have occurred on a local scale, been noted in the local papers, and then quickly forgotten. Instead, the Law of Consequences waited until he had reached the pinnacle of his career and attained the high office he had lusted after for decades before manifesting his karma. His humiliation occurred on the world stage under the glare of the world media, rather than on the inside pages of the local paper. The Law of Consequences is very patient. Its timing is impeccable, and it never fails to find us.