The Perfect Life
A major problem plaguing many people is the obsession to make the “surface” of their lives a work of perfection. This means perfect hair, perfect grooming, perfect wardrobe, a perfect home perfectly decorated, perfect car, perfect body surgically sculpted, perfect white teeth dentally adjusted, perfect smile, perfect diet. If the pursuit of perfection isn’t part and parcel of the American dream it is certainly the prevalent Hollywood pursuit. However, all that glitters in the quest for perfection is decidedly not healthy.
Unworthiness and Shame
For example, the pursuit of external perfection often indicates deep internal insecurities. When people strive for perfection they are compensating for the fact that they feel far from perfect. In most cases, their motivating impulse is a profound sense of unworthiness and shame. This creates a dichotomy between their desired external image and their toxic internal truth. This dichotomy illustrates the core problem many people have of accepting themselves as they are.
The failure to achieve self-acceptance means that those who are compelled to chase perfection will consistently fall short in their attempts to do so, never measuring up to their own expectations. Their failure increases their sense of unworthiness. Pursuing perfection does not lead to self-acceptance. Instead the pursuit of perfection creates a vicious cycle which deepens the self-hatred endemic in many people while robbing them of their capacity to find peace.
Additionally, people who strive for perfection often feel the need to control every facet of their lives. However, if life teaches anything, it is that it cannot and will not be controlled. Life can trump any of our plans any time it chooses to. Life was never designed to be perfect. If it was why bother living it? We’re here to grow, change and evolve. You can’t do that without making mistakes. Lots of them. My advice. Forget the pursuit of perfection and focus on self love and acceptance. Life is much more enjoyable if you love yourself and have learned to let go of things you can’t control.
People who exhibit a compulsive drive to control everything around them eventually alienate those they care most about. Trying to control every facet of life is exhausting and lonely. The pursuit of perfection leaves people feeling more frustrated and less able to enjoy life than it did before they began their pursuit of perfection. Your internal state is far more important than your external one. All power comes from within. Never forget that. Focus on what counts – your growth and evolution.