The Great Secret

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Acceptance

The great secret of the surrendered ego is acceptance. It knows that the more it loves unconditionally, the easier it will be to accept whatever situations may come its way. Being in a state of acceptance allows the surrendered ego to remain emotionally centered and connected to the timeless dimension of its nature. As long as the surrendered ego stays in acceptance, it will maintain its connection to the Divine, and the power of the negative will not be able to distract it from its path.

The Channel of Unconditional Love

The surrendered ego further recognizes that when it is in acceptance mode it is both a channel for unconditional love to enter the world and a vehicle for prayers to flow up to the Divine world. Whether Divine energy flows down through the open door of the surrendered ego or prayers flow up through it, the result is the same. Good things happen. We all win when Divine power is brought to bear in the world.

When the Old Order Crumbles

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The Final Transformation

Before reaching the final transformation where it merges with the soul, the surrendered ego has already been through two prior transformational cycles. In clearing the toxicity it once contained, the negative ego died and became lighter. In standing up to the many challenges to its integrity, the healthy ego became strong, stable, sure of itself, and capable of containing more inner light. In letting go of attachment and desire, the surrendered ego became brighter, more conscious and powerful. As the surrendered ego quickens in the light and pulls down the Divine power to complete its quickening, it becomes one with the underlying unity of all life and realizes its true identity.

Acts of Grace

The death of the negative ego, and the opening up of the path of light are major acts of grace in the life of the individual. They change everything. Through their auspices the individual undergoes an internal revolution in which the forces of inner darkness are overcome, the ceiling of growth is raised, and the path of personal evolution becomes accessible.

Self Realization

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The First Step

The first major step in the process of Self-realization occurs with the fusion of our ego and our soul. That merger must occur before self realization and the final illumination of our identity can take place. When the two poles of our nature merge, final union with the Divine usually follows in short order. When that merger does occur, our soul becomes infinitely brighter. With the Divine light pouring through our consciousness, we will experience a sense of universality and oneness with all life. Our deepest identity springs from our sense of universality.

Experiencing the Divine

We are not one thing or one person, separated from the rest of the world by our skin and our ego. We are a part of everything. Our essence is the essence of all things, and the essence of all things is also our essence. We are neither separate nor alone. We are all one in our own selves yet also part of a continuous organic whole that pulsates with life, light, and energy. We are no more and no less than anyone else. We are equal to every living thing, and every living thing is equal to us. We have discovered that our real identity is not found in our form, our substance, or our body, for every form and every substance is separate and different from every other form and every other substance. At this juncture we come to understand that our essence and true identity are both found in the light at the core of our being. That light is deathless, formless, and without substance. It is our personal link to the Divine.

Merger and Ignition

Until the time when we merge our soul and ego that light at the core of our being is but a flicker, but when that merger occurs, our inner light ignites and fans quickly into a bright flame. If we maintain the intensity of that inner flame, we will draw the Divine down to us and experience Self-realization. In that moment, we will know who we really are and what our purpose in the manifested world is to be.

What Survives the Death of the Body

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soul ego

Quan Yin

Karma and Freedom

Not surprisingly, the only significant contribution the negative ego makes that will endure beyond the death of the body is the negative karma it created while it held power. Its legacy is more toxicity that will have to be processed and cleared in other lifetimes. In the time that it is here, the negative ego finds few answers to life and experiences precious little fulfillment. Instead, it tarnishes the soul with its intrigues, contributes to its burdens, causes it to lose its momentum toward the light, and adds to its karmic weight.

The Surrendered Ego

The surrendered ego does just the opposite. It is focused on freedom, knowing that freedom is found only when we move in harmony with the Divine. It realizes that freedom is never strictly an individual or separate phenomenon, but is the result of a union between the individual, his soul, and the Divine. Until the Divine confers its light and power upon us, our experience of our true identity and purpose remains limited to our orientation in time and space, and we will be unable to experience the timeless dimension of our nature. We simply cannot know who we really are when we are only aware of part of ourselves. Without the presence of the Divine in our system, our true identity remains unknown, and we remain unfulfilled.

Transcending the Ego

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soul ego

Albert Einstein

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
-Albert Einstein

The fusion of soul and ego creates a direct channel for the wisdom, unconditional love, creativity, and healing energies of the soul to flow into the conscious mind. The synthesis of the formerly disparate elements of consciousness that occurs in the act of fusing the soul and ego connects the two poles of our being, uniting substance with spirit and creating a bridge across which the Divine light can flow quietly into this world.

Fusion and the Surrendered Ego

When the fusion of soul and ego occurs, the ego is transformed once again. It is no longer simply the healthy ego, learning to stand in its own power, expanding its sense of self in positive and supportive relationships, and beginning to grasp the significance and power of unconditional love. It is now the surrendered ego, the agent of the soul, and the voice of illumination, understanding, and compassion. The surrendered ego’s mission is to increase the power of the soul in the life of the individual and to manifest the individual’s true identity and purpose. Gandhi, Einstein, Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, and Nelson Mandela are all examples of individuals who successfully fused their soul and personality in modern times.
By the time we reach this state of fusion, the covert whispers of the negative ego and its dangerous liaison with our toxicity is long over. Where the ego was once the command and control center for the worst elements in our nature, it is now the channel for the highest and most redemptive aspects of our character. As we heal and transform the ego, we redeem our lives. In its base phase, the ego’s orientation is negative. It is an agent of separation, dominated by fear, and has no interest in the growth or evolution of the individual. Control and power dominate its agenda. In its middle phase, the ego’s orientation is positive and healthy. It is striving to escape the shadow of fear that has dominated the individual and to overcome habitual behaviors and reactive patterns that have reinforced the power of the negative in the life of its host. The healthy ego is a vehicle of integration. It is learning to love unconditionally and stand in the power of the soul.

A Karma Generating Machine

In its highest phase, the ego is neither positive nor negative, but has surrendered to the soul and become detached from desire. The surrendered ego is emotionally balanced and centered in the light. It shines with inner peace and is radiant with joy. Unlike the negative ego, the surrendered ego is clear of hopeless entanglements and negative consequences. Where the negative ego is a karma generating machine the surrendered ego is an instrument of harmony and fulfillment. The surrendered ego is the Divine’s ambassador in this world.

The Times We Live In

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world conflict

An Age of Increasing Polarity

We live in an age of increasing polarity and deepening conflict in all spheres of human experience: between nations, religions, political ideologies, ethnicities, genders, families, and individuals. This conflict is global, regional, local, political, economic, environmental, cultural, religious, historical, and increasingly personal. Sometimes,the conflict is all of these things at once. Virtually all forms of this conflict involve closed systems and zero sum games. No matter the conflict, there is little honest dialogue between the opposing parties. Instead of dialogue, charges and counter charges are levied, irreconcilable demands are made, and hostilities follow. With the world driven by the increasing spread of negative energies, the end of conflict frequently appears too late, if at all, and when it does arrive, it is often temporary. Instead of turning over a new leaf and building toward a new future, this becomes a time when new seeds of hatred are planted. The vanquished nurture their wounds and sow their bitterness in deep, underground streams of hatred that lie boiling within their psyches. Inevitably, the conflict returns.

A Time of Uncertainty

We stand once more at a critical point in world history. We live in a time of great uncertainty. The storm winds gather; the chill of peril fills the air. As dark as the times may be, not all is lost. We still stand. While the gathering storm may bring us into harms way, it also presents us with an unparalleled opportunity for personal growth and spiritual advancement. If we choose the path of personal evolution, we will increase the light in this world and lessen the power of the darkness to wreak havoc and create conflict all around us. The most important thing we can do for the world is to be who we really are.

The Future

The future is on our shoulders. At a time when, as individuals, we may seem to be insignificant, the truth is that we have never been more powerful. We have never been more important, and we have never been more necessary. If we succeed in bringing down the light from above, our influence will expand in ways we may never know about and touch people in other parts of the world whom we never knew existed. It is only in this way that the threat of conflict will recede.

Relationships and Group consciousness

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In establishing positive and constructive relationships with other people, a person with a healthy ego is beginning to stretch his self-concept and open himself up to becoming a channel of unconditional love. When a group of people with healthy egos gets together, unconditional love is present and palpable. Love is the basis of equality. When unconditional love is present, everyone in the group feels both unique and equal. When unconditional love is absent, people struggle against each other to stand out and be unique. What is natural and obvious when our eyes are open with love is no longer accessible or apparent once love’s clarity is lost. When love dissolves, group consciousness no longer exists.

A Multi-Generational Problem

To illustrate these ideas, lets imagine a large, multi-generational family. The parents have several children. These children are now all grown up, married with teenage children of their own. One young teenager dislikes one of his cousins and has for a long time but keeps his animosity hidden. The only hint of his disdain is that he is cool to his cousin. One Sunday, there is a family gathering at the grandparents’ home. Some of the boys decide to play touch football in the backyard. The boy who is secretly disliked by his cousin lines up as a receiver on offense and goes out for a pass. The cousin who detests him is the defensive back on the other team. The play develops. The receiver runs his route. He breaks open for a moment. The ball is thrown, a perfect strike. He turns to make the catch. Instead of trying to break up the play, the defender goes for his cousin, hitting him with a vicious shot in the back of his thighs. The boy flies up in the air then falls on the base of his spine in pain and shock. After all, this is touch football, not tackle, and tackling is not allowed. The receiver gets slowly to his feet and confronts his cousin. This, of course, is just what the resentful cousin hoped would happen. He wants his unsuspecting cousin to start something so he will have the excuse he needs to hit him with the full fury of his resentment. Words are spoken in anger. Insults are hurled back and forth. Pushing ensues. The receiver takes a wild swing at his cousin and misses.

The cousin who has set up the entire situation is a stone cipher. No emotion breaks through the cold mask of his face, his hard eyes the only hint of the hatred that lies beneath. In his head, where no one can see his thoughts, he secretly exults. You’ve just made your fatal mistake cousin, he says silently to himself. You did just what I wanted you to do. You’ve given me the green light to destroy you. A hint of a smile plays at the ends of his lips. His right arm moves forward suddenly in a quick, compact motion. He hits his cousin as hard as he can in the face. The boy collapses, his lip split, his face bloodied. Pandemonium breaks out. The other boys go running into the house. The adults quickly come running out.

A Toxic Situation

The father of the boy who has been hit confronts his nephew. His younger brother, the father of the resentful cousin comes to his son’s defense. Pretty soon the two brothers are pushing each other, giving new life to old grudges from their own teenage years. The other brothers and sisters try to break up the widening dispute to no avail. Instead of ending the conflict, they are drawn into it. The conflict has now escalated to a new level, moving through the generations and splitting the family into factions. The long-term cohesiveness of the family has been ruined. The entire family is now highly reactive and out of control. Each faction is self-righteous, certain the other side is wrong. Each faction wants to dominate and punish the other one. Even the grandparents are on different sides of the family conflict. In the blink of an eye the family has shifted from group consciousness to zero sum warfare. Instead of allowing love and respect to hold the family together, they are now all fighting for domination and control. Everybody wants to be right. The situation has become highly polarizing. The negative energy they have foolishly and unconsciously created together now has a life of its own and will draw them further apart. In the end, the conflict will wound and diminish everybody. There will be no winners.

Family Contamination

Was any of this really necessary? One person, infected with a smoldering resentment, contaminated the entire family, reawakened
forgotten tensions, and created group conflict. A once loving family with a long history of cohesion reacted to conflict with more conflict and lost its cohesive center in the blink of an eye.

Losing Love

As our example suggests, it is easy to lose love, easy to react, and easy to create conflict with little provocation. While the above example is imaginary, it is not far-fetched. Things like this happen all the time and are but a reminder of the covert and insidious nature of evil. If we are easily provoked and allow ourselves to react inappropriately, we open the door to evil and thoughtlessly invite it into our lives.

Losing Self-Control

If the cousin who had been tackled had recognized the resentment in his cousin’s actions and been able to maintain his self-control, he might have gotten up, walked away, and said nothing. Instead, he reacted and helped his cousin hurt him. Instead of walking away from trouble, he walked into trouble, and the rest of the family followed suit. This is one of those times when it would have been far better to turn the other cheek than to let one’s ego get in the way. It takes a clear and mature person to have the wisdom and self-control to recognize when it is time to walk away from trouble. While it is no easy task, neither is it an impossible one.

The Healthy Ego & Group Consciousness

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The Healthy Ego and Group Consciousness

When we develop a healthy ego, taking things personally, creating a closed system, and playing zero sum games no longer interests us. We now know better. If there’s enough success in the world for you, then there’s also enough for me. Even better, if I am whole and successful, it will be easier for you to be whole and successful. The more wholeness and abundance we both generate, the easier it will be for everyone else to find abundance. When we view reality through the lens of I win/you win, reality expands. A win/win model generates communication, cooperation, and teamwork – all elements of the healthy ego and group consciousness. Whenever a healthy ego and group consciousness exists, peace and order flourish, and economic opportunity expands. For a healthy sense of group consciousness to flourish, everyone who participates in the group must have cleared the toxicity from their system and developed a healthy ego. Otherwise the group consciousness will be shallow, false, and short lived. Instead of leading to peace, it will lead to blame, bitterness, and cynicism.

Zero Sum Reality

When we view reality through the traditional lens of I win/you lose, reality contracts. Without a healthy ego structure there is no group consciousness. Life is war, a series of zero sum games. The traditional win/lose model engenders conflict, misunderstanding, and instability. All we have to do is look at the world of today to realize how entrenched we are in this model of reality.

We can never develop a healthy ego, transform our consciousness or begin to change the world until we address the hidden, negative elements in our own system. Every attempt at transformation and change that fails to address our toxicity will fail to meet its objective.

Refusing to Take Things Personally

The good news is that when we develop a healthy ego and  no longer take things personally, we won’t have to react. Reacting negatively is a choice, not an inevitable occurrence. We react negatively when we feel powerless. That is the lesson Barbara learned when she cleared her toxicity and healed her childhood wounds. Once she realized that she didn’t have to suppress her own needs in order to be loved, she found that standing up for her self was empowering and exhilarating. When she stood up for herself, she stood in her own power and her self-pity vanished. Rather than feeling less than everyone else, she recognized herself as the equal of everyone she encountered. Barbara healed her life and in the process developed a healthy ego. Now she’s ready to find a circle of equals and experience group consciousness.

Two Sisters part 4: Personalizing Reality

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The Cycle of Personalization

Zero sum games are the end product of the cycle of personalization. This cycle has three phases:

1. We take things personally.

2. We create a closed system where it’s us versus them.

3. We are forced by our own foolishness into playing a zero sum game.
A more intelligent and conscious response would be to avoid the inevitable struggle for power that occurs when we personalize events and to turn inward instead to face the toxic energies in our system that need clearing. When we clear our subconscious of its toxicity, we won’t be as likely to fall back into the instinctive reactive patterns and the closed system that first wounded and then weakened us. We will also have enough strength and lucidity to avoid the traps others may set for us in the hope that we will react to their ploys, and allow them to hurt us.

A Lost Opportunity

What the younger sister failed to realize in creating her closed system is that when we turn another person into a scapegoat, we lose an opportunity to advance our growth and evolution. If we are too scared to face ourselves, we are too scared to grow. If we refuse to face our false self, we will not find our true self. Jealousy and envy are always self-destructive. When someone is jealous, they can never be satisfied, content, or find peace. Their moments of vengeance only provide them with temporary relief. When a person’s system is toxic, nothing brings them peace.

The Relative Nature of Personalizing Reality

Taking things personally, then, is always dangerous to our well-being. We take things personally when we view the world relatively, not as it is, but as it affects our own sense of self. If we permit another person to nega- tively impact our self-worth, we will react to that encroachment very personally. We will become hostile and angry, wishing to hurt them as much as, or more than they hurt us. When we react personally, we start a fresh cycle of internal violence in our lives. That violence might never be translated into action, but it will color our thoughts and influence our feelings. It will increase our stress, release toxic chemicals into our bloodstream, and destroy our peace. When we react personally, we lose our objectivity and clarity. We are no longer detached. Our soul connection is severed. We are more interested in retaliation and vindication than in growth and evolution.

Two Sisters Part 3: The Downward Spiral

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Moving Down

Because the younger sister sees the older sister as the source of her pain, the only direction in which her life can move is down. She has cast her- self in the role of the chronic victim, and she can only deteriorate from there. Her agony will grow. Her rage will consume her. The loudest voices in her head will be those of bitterness and hatred. They will make her hard, defensive, and aloof. They will impel her to shun the company of positive people and lead her to feel alone, unappreciated, and misunderstood. She will wallow in self-pity and depression. Unfortunately, she will not sink in her toxicity alone, but in the manner of a stealth virus, she will contaminate those who are emotionally dependent upon her. Her toxicity will certainly affect her son, drawing him toward an even deeper darkness than the one in which he is now immersed.

The Path of Most Resistance

The tragedy of the younger sister’s story is that none of this need happen. The path of most resistance is not an absolute, unchangeable reality. It can be easily avoided. If the younger sister had chosen the path of responsibility and faced her own darkness rather than continuing on her stubborn, lonely walk down the twisted path of most resistance, a better reality would have been able to manifest in her life. Had she transformed herself, the conflict that she created and sustained with her older sister would no longer exist. Instead of chronic tension between them, there would be support for each other. They would be able to applaud each other’s successes, and in all likelihood, her son would be better adjusted, perhaps as successful in his life as his cousins have been in their lives. Her reward would be group consciousness, cohesion, and love within the family, rather than jealousy, animosity, and conflict. The family would be an open system with no ceiling on the success its indi- vidual members might attain, instead of a closed system, where success is limited and the individual members have to fight each other for their quota of success.

Zero Sum Games

When we personalize our experience as the younger sister has, we see ourselves as victims. As victims, we struggle to assert ourselves against our adversary. This forces us to play a zero sum game, struggling to take back our power from those we feel have stolen it. The more we react, the more separation we create between ourselves and those we view as our antagonists. That external separation is also mirrored internally, as increased distance between our ego and our soul. If we are not careful, both the internal and external degrees of separation may prove impos- sible to surmount. Even if we should win the zero sum game, we would still lose in the long term because we are not advancing our growth, only strengthening our negativity and the power it has over us. This is the opposite of living a responsible and conscious life.

Whenever we take things personally, we create a closed system and lock ourselves into a zero sum game. Zero sum games are not limited to individuals, but also apply to competing interest groups. Wherever and whenever people organize their lives and perceptions of reality around their toxicity, zero sum games will always be played.