The Four Principles of Ego Development
The foundation of the Negative Ego
The negative ego is based on four fundamental factors. These factors are:
- Unprocessed toxicity.
- Self-hatred and the victim mentality.
- An innate sense of fear and powerlessness, which often translates into the need to dominate one’s relationships with other people.
- An unwavering intention to keep the soul isolated from the conscious mind and ego.
The Foundation of the Healthy Ego
The healthy ego, on the other hand, is happy to grant the soul access to the psyche. It is not interested in distancing itself from the soul, but in closing the gap with the spirit. The healthy ego is also built on four factors, but these factors are very different from those comprising the negative ego. The four factors that contribute to a healthy ego are:
- Cleared toxicity.
- Self-respect and a healthy boundary system.
- The ability to love other people, appreciate and acknowledge them for who they are.
- A strong commitment to unite the soul with the conscious mind and ego.
A healthy ego starts with a clear subconscious. There is no inner victim, no self-hatred, and no tendency toward self-destruction in the healthy ego. Instead, the healthy ego is continually building and expanding its self- respect. Self-respect grows with the ability to reach out and create healthy relationships based on affection and mutual respect. Self-respect is reinforced when we stand up for ourselves. Self-respect flourishes when we are able to give and receive love. Sharing the energy of unconditional love expands and strengthens us. People with a healthy ego instinctively understand that when they wholeheartedly acknowledge another per- son’s talents, gifts, and contributions, they are indirectly acknowledging their own sense of self.
The ability to wholeheartedly support and recognize someone else is only possible when our system has been drained of its toxicity. If we are free of envy, jealousy, pettiness, and vindictiveness, we won’t feel threatened by someone else’s success or see that person’s good fortune as our personal loss. However, until we clear the toxic emotion from our system and learn to set effective boundaries, we will find ourselves caught in a closed system where the tendency will be to do exactly that.