The New Reality of Being a Single Mother

single mother

The Single Mother Syndrome

More children are born to a single mother than ever before. An article in the New York Times dated February 17, 2012 reported on the development of the single mother household. Here are some key statistics they uncovered.  41% of all children in the United States are born outside of marriage to a single mother. The figure rises to 53% for  women under thirty.

Here is a breakdown of those numbers. 73% of black children are born outside marriage to a single mother, compared with 53 % of Latinos and 29 % of whites.

The Consequences of Being Raised in a Single Parent Household

Regarding the consequences of the single mother  trend, The NY Times article said, “The shift is affecting children’s lives. Researchers have consistently found that children born outside marriage face elevated risks of falling into poverty, failing in school or suffering emotional and behavioral problems.”

Why is this happening? Opinions vary. The article states, “Liberal analysts argue that shrinking paychecks have thinned the ranks of marriageable men, while conservatives often say that the sexual revolution reduced the incentive to wed and that safety net programs discourage marriage.”

In an op-ed piece in the NY Times dated Feb 20, 2012 , David Brooks,  Times columnist, wrote his opinion on the trend to single mother households. “.. today, as Eric Klinenberg reminds us in his book, “Going Solo,” more than 50 percent of adults are single,” wrote Brooks. “Twenty-eight percent of households nationwide consist of just one person. There are more single-person households than there are married-with-children households. In cities like Denver, Washington and Atlanta, more than 40 percent of the households are one-person dwellings. In Manhattan, roughly half the households are solos.”

The Maximization of Talent

Brooks ascribes this demographic shift to the “maximization of talent.” Again, quoting Brooks,”People want more space to develop their own individual talents. They want more flexibility to explore their own interests and develop their own identities, lifestyles and capacities. They are more impatient with situations that they find stifling.”

Interesting. Here’s more from Brooks. “Today, the fast flexible and diverse networks allow the ambitious and the gifted to surf through amazing possibilities. They are able to construct richer, more varied lives. They are able to enjoy interesting information-age workplaces and then go home and find serenity in a one-bedroom apartment.”

What Serenity?

Frankly, I wonder about all that serenity. I consult with people of all ages and income levels. Virtually everyone of the single men and women I speak to aches to be in a healthy long-term relationship. In my experience, people will never stop searching for love and stability in their lives.

One of the problems that prevents healthy relationships from forming is that so many people, both men and women, are emotionally dysfunctional. Women complain about men who are narcissistic and psychopathic, or weak men who want to qualify them by their economic status before they date them, or men who want to sleep with them immediately. If they don’t, the next girl will. Men complain about women who are self-absorbed, not feminine and have nothing to give them. They characterize American women as men without  penises. They are tired of giving and getting little or nothing in return. Many men complain that American women have no clue about how to nurture a man. They have given up on American women and seek women from other cultures who have retained their femininity.

Clearly, we’re in trouble in America. The nuclear family appears to be a dying institution. The statistics about the single mother phenomenon seems to confirm that trend.  Lonely, dysfunctional, confused people are easy to control. One of the main tenets of Communism is to destroy the family and make the individual dependent on the state. The single mother phenomenon certainly points in that direction. Could that be what’s really happening here?